Here I go Again

Most of my childhood friends would tell you that they thought I would grow up to be an author, since I was always "writing another book". But somewhere along the way, my love of words – and as an extension writing – got lost.

 

  At the end of 2007, I discovered the world of blogging, and my writing was reborn.  I faithfully blogged my thoughts, my feelings, the daily happenings of my life for all the world to see. However, my readership only consisted of my father, a few college friends, and a few random readers that I had met thru other blogs.

 

 But I kept writing – thru the devastating end of a 4 year relationship, thru my decision to move home, thru a whirlwind romance with the man of my dreams, my wedding, honeymoon, and pregnancy. I blogged diligently about the birth of my beautiful daughters, and all the amazing moments that have composed the first year of her life.

 

I am not sure how, or when, but once again, my writing has been lost in the shuffle of life. The daily routine of rising, working, taking care of family responsibilities has left me with little time to write. At first, I was okay with it, but now I am beginning to feel out of sorts, less like me.

 

I realized this morning that I truly miss my writing. That my soul needs a creative outlet – that this blog is that outlet.  So here I am , again, plunging back into the blogging world with renewed vigor.

 

My goal is simple to write something every day.  I have no grand ideas about what I will write – it may be a profound insight, it may be a random thought I have, or a synopsis of my day. But I am going to write……..because for me writing is a necessity.

 

And if I am lucky, you – the reader – will be blessed by my writings and continue to share in this journey with me.

Wordless Wednesday: What a difference a Year Makes

Happy Birthday Joycie !

Joycelen,

For 365 days, I knew this moment would come…the moment when you would celebrate your first year of life. The moment when I would sit down and try to find the words to capture all the emotions that the last year has encapsulated. And even with all of the forethought, the planning, the preparing, this milestone has taken me by surprise. I catch myself looking for the sleepy infant that I brought home from the hospital – instead I find myself looking into the face of a toddler. And while the tinest part of my heart misses the newborn you, I would not trade one moment of the last year for anything.

Nearly from the moment of your birth, you made it known that a) you did things on your own time table and b) you, much like your Daddy are laid-back. Like any new Mommy, I read about developmental milestones, the projected timetables, and watched your constantly for signs of the first smile, you rolling over, sitting up. Each time it would seem that you were taking forever to reach the next milestone, and then over night you’d be doing it. And when I would get so excited at your new accomplishment, you’d flash me a look as if to say “Mama, chill out. I got this growing up thing covered.” Prior to your arrival, I had prepared myself for brining home a screaming, crying, colicky infant. Instead, your Daddy and I brought home a baby who slept for nearly 4 hours a stretch, started sleeping thru the night at 2 months old, and transitioned to her own crib at 6 months. You never seem to meet a stranger, freely giving smiles to new people, and rarely do you get upset – unless we are slow to feed you or tell you “No.”

Joycie – you are dynamic and full of life – showing no fear at taking on new challenges, rather that’s a new daycare or learning to walk. Each night you fall asleep with a smile, and wake up with the same. You are utterly content in who you are – and that has been a constant lesson that you have taught me……to be at peace with who I am, where I am, and to simply enjoy the moment.

I suppose like any other letter to you, I should include your stats:

- You are wearing size 18 months clothing, size 3 diapers.

-You weigh 21 pounds, and seem to be growing an inch every day. I do not have an accurate length measurement, because you never stay still long enough.

- You are a busy little girl, who loves to toddle around the house, or run if you have your push toy from Nana and Papa.

- You have come to discover a new found appreciation for the outdoors. You especially like riding on the tractor with Daddy and swinging on the porch swing with Mama.

- You vocabulary is still growing, with Mama, Dadda, and bye-bye being your most frequent used words.

- With your two teeth, you are managing to transition to nearly all table food, and really like spaghetti, yogurt, and eggs. You still dislike peas (and I can’t say that I blame you).

The last 365 days have been an adventure, Joycelen, full of twists, turns, bumps, a few bruises, the occasional bought of tears (yours and mine), lots of hugs, and big wet kisses. I have loved every single minute of it…..and look forward to seeing what the next year has in store for us.

I love you baby!

~Mama

Reflecting on a Year Ago….

365 days ago, I was physically miserable.  My body had reached maximum capacity – with Joycelen taking up every available inch of space. I ached all over – from the top of my head to the bottom of my very swollen feet. A pregnancy that had been pain and problem free for the 38 weeks prior, suddenly felt like torture. And to add insult to injury, my body showed no true signs of beginning to prepare for labor. Therefore, a year ago, our amazing OB/BYN Dr. H told M and I that she was going to induce me on March 4th.  And that night, with much aniticpation, excitement, and a healthy dose of fear, we made the final preparations to welcome Joycelen Rebecca into the world.

11 Months

note the major bedhead

Joycie,

You are now 11 months old – which means Mama is frantically trying to finalize the last minute details of your 1st birthday party, while trying to remember to savor each moment with you.  Here are you stats for this month:

•You weigh 22 pounds. And are 29.5 inches long.

•In terms of diapers, you are still wearing size 3

•You are now wearing clothing sized 12 months.  But we are finding that the tops are becoming too short. You’ll be moving up to 18 months before much longer.

This month’s big achievement is that you took your first steps.  Not only was it amazing to see you achieve this big milestone, but you took those first steps in the same place that Mama took her footsteps – the living room at Nana Nancy and Papa Babo’s house. Since those first steps, you’ve taken few more unassisted steps (3 while hanging out with your other Nana and Papa, 2 with Aunt Lane) – but it seems that once you realize that you are walking, you promptly change your mind.

 

Since you are now an extremely active crawler, Mama and Daddy spend lots of time chasing you throughout the house. You are especially attracted to the bathroom – you love to crawl in there and play with things you aren’t suppose to – like the toilet.  Just yesterday, I discover rolls of toilet paper floating in the bowl…..any ideas how that happened?

Your favorite toys are still your baby dolls and your singing lady bug. You also enjoy playing with anything with buttons – especially t.v. remotes and telephones.

Next week, you will start daycare full time. Daddy and Mama are certain that this new adventure will prompt even more growth and development.

~Mama & Daddy

A New Widget

I have done a teeny bit of redecorating on the blog. My sidebar now features a widget for the Susan G. Komen 3 Day for the Cure. As you may remember, I am registered to walk in this event this October.

Now that the madness of the holidays has settled,I am ramping up my training and my fundraising. I promise that I am not going to turn my blog into a rampant plea for donations. However, if you would be willing to give then click on the widget in the side bar. It will take you to my personal fundraising page.

Thanks!

Bigger Picture Moments: Radio Silence

It has been nearly a month since I have posted an entry. While my silence did not start out intentionally, it soon became that way. One evening, after arriving home from teach aerobics, I sat down at the computer - eager to have my "me time" - I was only going to take a few minutes to read a few blogs, comment on a few posts, and write a post or two. Nearly 2 hours later, I looked up to find M and Joycie asleep on the living room floor.

The simple sight of them curled next to one another, breathing softly in time together, devestated me. I had wasted another chance to spend time with the two people that I love most in the world. So that night, I decided to change my habits. I sorted thru my Google Reader, unsubscribing from those blogs that did not truly resonate with me. (60 plus blogs gone....) I decided then to take a 1 month hiatus from all things blog related.

In that month, I have had numerous date nights with M, played for hours with Joycie, laughed with friends at aerobics classes, enjoyed dinner with my extended family, and a myriad of other things. I soon realized that I was once again living the life that I loved - rather than being a character in the background.

I'll admit, I did miss blogging. But I also knew I would miss those moments a whole lot more. In the month of no blogging, I have trained myself to get up earlier, so now after M leaves for work and before Joycie wakes up, I have time to read blogs, post my own entries, and comment on the blogs that I truly love.

That's my bigger picture moment.....