July 08, 2010

Bigger Picture Moments: Plans

Life often gets hectic, busy, and in the hurried pace we can overlookg the bigger picture. Each week the lovely ladies of Bigger Picture Blogs invite bloggers to take a momen to find the bigger picture. If you would like to join in the fun, head over to Sarah's for more information and to link up.

I am a planner and a list maker. My husband finds humor in the fact that our fridge is home to several lists (daily chores, weekly chores, monthly chores, and a shopping list). On those list, each day is assigned a task, each task assigned an estimated time to complete – I live by my lists.

My need for planning and love of lists is evident in all areas of my life. At the office, I have daily, weekly, and monthly to-do lists which are color coordinated to the respective areas of my job. I have a list of which workouts to complete on which days for my time at the gym. Again, let me state, I love planning.

It is not surprise then that when the husband and I said our vows a year and a half ago, I had a plan for how our “happily ever after” would unfold. We discussed and agreed (okay, if the truth is to be told, I told him and he just agreed) that we would wait a year and then begin to start a family. With the start of a new marriage, a fledging career, I was happy with my life as was – and in my most private moments I was unsure if I even wanted to be a mother. The more I though about it, the more fearful I became, and the better that year long seemed.

Then on July 4th, I took a pregnancy test. My husband and I were 100% certain that we were NOT pregnant. We had taken the necessary precautions, but my constant fatigue, weird food cravings, and tender body parts had our extended family asking “Are you sure you aren’t pregnant?” The test was our way to put an end to the speculation. Instead, that test (and subsequent) doctor’s visit confirmed what our families had suspected….we were going to be parents.

In the early days following that pregnancy test, I remember questioning God “Why, Lord? This wasn’t what we had planned”.

One year ago, I thought that the plan I had for my life was irrevocably changed – and it has – but what the Lord has given is so much better. One year ago, we had no idea that the Lord would bless us with an opportunity to purchase a large addition to a family farm, an addition that requires more time and more work, and likely would have caused us to delay our start. We had no way of knowing that our plan would have coincided with the departure of my company’s CFO, or how compelled I would have been to set aside my desire to start a family, in order to do more at job

God could see both the blessing and the stumbling blocks that lay ahead for us, and so, He chose to carry out His plan. A plan that is now a 12 pound, 4 month old with beautiful blue eyes and her Daddy’s smile. Today, as I hold my daughter, my life should be focused on serving my Heavenly Father, trusting in Him to lead and guide me, even when the direction I travel is not on my plan.


Jennifer said...

Isn't God good that He always knows what we need before we even know it! Have you heard that song "Waiting Room" by Jonny Diaz? You have to listen to it on YouTube because it is just about this same thing.

Corinne said...

Thank goodness someone else is holding the plans for us :)
Such a beautiful, well written post! Thanks for linking up! :)

Carolyn Phillips said...

Thank you so much for posting this, a wonderful reminder that God knows the plans he has for us, and that he is far better at planning than even the best of us (and your planning scares me, I am the opposite, always in a lovely muddle!)