April 01, 2009

Biggest Adjustment

I have been married for little over a week now ....11 days to be exact. And in those 11 days, I have two questions repeatedly. I will blog about the most asked question a little later. The 2nd most favored question is "What's the biggest adjustment in married life?"

The first few times I was asked this question - I didn't have an answer. We were basking in the after glow of a beautiful wedding, and honeymooning - it was all new, all glorious, all wonderful. Then we came home. And it took exactly 1 night to figure out what was going to be the biggest adjustment.

Sleeping in the same bed.

What's that dear reader? You are wondering why this is such an adjustment. After all I did share a bed with my hubby all 7 days of our honeymoon, why is it when I return home, I find that sharing a bed is going to take some adjustment. The answer is simply - our bed is so much smaller.

We have a double bed. And when you add in M, me, and the dog there is not a lot of room left. And I think M forgets that I am there. Case in point, two nights ago, nature called around 4:00 a.m. When I got back to the bed, M had thrown his gigantic leg across my teeny section of the bed - there was no space for me to sit. Being the loving wife that I am, I didn't want to wake him, so I tried to nudge his leg back to his side. Nothing. I pushed a little more forcefully - it still didn't budge. Again, again, and again I tried. Finally, my need to sleep overcame any concern for M's own sleep and I slapped his thigh and told him "Move over buddy!". He let out a small snore, a mumbled sigh, and rolled over. He was back asleep before I even got laid down. (Sigh)

There you have it - 11 days in - that's my big adjustment. How about we cover this question again in a month, 6 months, a year???? Readers, what was your biggest adjustment to married life?


Kathie Brinkman said...

The biggest adjustment? Needing to ask for and consider my husband's opinions on many topics before I just plunged ahead with my own agenda. This process has not really changed much since then. But after 20+ years of marriage we are now more alike than not so we don't have many differences in opinions on most topics. We've also learned what topics are worth standing our ground on and what things are just small stuff--and believe it or not most stuff is small stuff!!! If you've chosen a spouse with your same core values and you choose to continually blend your lives together you will find that you agree more than disagree on the things that truly matter. What color to paint a room, where to place the furniture, and whether a plastic margerine dish gets placed on the table or not are not things that matter much in the scheme of things. (And yet, I've known committed couples who have had huge arguments over these silly things.) Where to live, what job to choose, how often to see family members, how many kids to have, how to handle money--these are the topics that can make or break a marriage. And there should be MUCH discussion on these things until there is unity, true agreement and mutual submission. You and Mike determine what the values in your home will be then cement yourselves together to upholding those values--regardless of what others may say, think, or do. Leave and cleave.

NavyBride said...

I totally second the bed thing! We have a queen, so there's more room, but geez, I had no idea that boys were sprawling sleepers like that! K used to sleep in a spread-eagle position on his stomach.

I don't know what our "big" adjustment was, but I remember one of the littler things I hadn't considered was grocery shopping. For example, mayonaise vs. miracle whip, or "regular" mustard vs. dijon, ground beef vs. ground turkey. At the very beginning, we had two of everything, until we learned to compromise. I gave in and cook with ground beef for him, and he gave up real mayonaise for me. Not a huge thing, but not something we had thought about ahead of time.